8.  USE POSITIVE MEMORIES TO INFUSE THE NEGATIVE When something painful is in awareness, bring to mind a positive memory or feelings.  You will gradually infuse the negative experience with positive associations when the memory goes back into storage.  My husband had a bike accident recently (he is healing with no permanent damage).  However the image of him after the accident was quite traumatic and I was experiencing very powerful sensations in my chest and abdomen.  I brought up the memory of him and thought of a beautiful lake in Wyoming where we love to hike. I also surrounded myself with all of the people whom I love. Visualizing the lake, remembering how infilling it is to hike there and recalling everyone I love and who love me significantly reduced the impact of seeing him in such a painful state.

9.  BE MINDFUL Mindfulness has been defined as “the nonjudgmental awareness of experiences in the present moment.”   To practice being mindful, pay attention to where your attention is (what is around you, sounds you hear, flowers blooming, children laughing, awareness of your feet on the ground, body sensations, emotions you are experiencing, etc). Mindfulness increases the relative activation of the left pre-frontal cortex which helps control and reduce negative emotions.

10.  NOTICE YOU ARE ALL RIGHT RIGHT NOW  This does not mean pretending that everything is perfect;however most of the time at this moment we are breathing, our heart is working and we are relatively safe.  Even if you are having difficulty, become aware of the core of your being where everything is OK, has always been OK and will always be OK no matter what experience you are having.

11.  SMILE

12.  PRACTICE GRATITUDE  When I think of Gratitude, what comes to mind is the image of monks bowing very slowly as they demonstrate deep appreciation with their heart, mind and body. These monks don’t give a quick nod to what they are grateful for but give sustained time and thoughtful attention to focusing and holding their prayer of thankfulness.  Practicing Gratitude does not mean ignoring painful circumstances but rather noticing and enjoying the good things that life brings.

Two poems which expresses the beauty of gratitude to me are:

I never will have time

I never will have time enough To say How beautiful it is

The way the moon

Floats in the air As easily

And lightly as a bird

Although she is a world Made all of stone.

I never will have time enough

To praise

The way the stars

Hang glittering in the dark

Of steepest heaven

Their dewy sparks

Their brimming drops of light

So fresh so clear

That when you look at them

It quenches thirst.”

Looking at the Sky” by Anne Porter

Hello, sun in my face.

Hello, you who make the morning,

and spread it over the fields

and into the faces of the tulips

and the nodding morning glories,

and into the windows of, even, the

miserable and the crotchety-

best preacher that ever was,

dear star, that just happens

to be where you are in the universe

to keep us from ever-darkness,

to ease us with warm touching,

to hold us in the great hands of light-

good morning, good morning, good morning.

Watch, now, how I start the day

in happiness, in kindness.

“Why I Wake Early” by Mary Oliver

I am very interested in your comments; you can email me at sjroos@gmail.com

Unfortunately our brains sort for what is negative. Over a period of eighty million years, we mammals survived by paying attention to threats to survival. And we still are primed to notice what is a threat which means that these negative experiences produce enduring changes in the physical structures of our brain. When an event is flagged as negative, the amygdala-hippocampus circuitry stores this imprint and compares current events to the imprint of old ones. Positive experiences do not have the impact of the more painful negative ones. (Trauma as well as stress can cause the hippocampus to shrink 10-20% which impairs our ability to remember positive experiences).

What actually helps heal the brain is emphasizing and storing positive experiences through conscious attention. This conscious remembering of the positive creates new neural networks as the parasympathetic system is activated and a feeling of inner peace and well- being is created. This change in the brain is called EXPERIENCE-DEPENDENT NEUROPLASTICITY according to Rick Hanson, PhD.  As the mind changes, the brain changes and vice versa.

What we pay attention to, what we think and feel and how we work with our reactions all influence the functioning of our brain.

It is important to add that this process of storing positive experiences does not preclude working with feelings, body sensations, dreams, memories etc. as these need to be brought to consciousness and integrated rather than avoided. Building equanimity is not becoming a “Bliss Junky.” Our tendency as humans is to seek pleasure and avoid pain. However making friends with pain, exploring the messages evoked and noticing where the body is holding imprints of negative experience is crucial to healing. Controlling the mind is not a goal to be reached using these methods.

Some of the practices I have used to help move clients into equanimity are the following: (I have used these successfully with clients who have had severe trauma). Clients may also use these as ways to self soothe and build new neural pathways between sessions.

    1. IMAGINE A CALM AND BEAUTIFUL PLACE. Spend time there noticing the time of day, the colors, the sounds and the feeling of peace evoked by being in calm and lovely surroundings.

    2,  LOOK AT A FLOWER for 10 seconds

    3. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE, PETS, ETC. WHO LOVE YOU. Visualize those who love you and  take time to look at each face and feel their love for you and your love for them. (Eckhart Tolle , the author of THE POWER OF NOW recommends this exercise to boost the immune system).

4. LET GOOD EXPERIENCES SINK IN. Feel these good experiences as a warm glow flowing through the chest or like a golden syrup sinking down inside.

5. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH NURTURING FIGURES, REAL OR IMAGINARY These figures can be real or imaginary, animal or spiritual, and may also be your nurturing adult self.

6. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PROTECTOR FIGURES.  These can be figures you felt protected by as a child or imaginary ones such as Superman or animal protectors.

More to follow next month on this most important subject of establishing and cultivating   Equanimity.